a million ways to die in the west mustache quotes
She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. 4:18 . Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. 1 May 2023. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. 18 Songs, 41 minutes 116 minutes. Then Stark must put his newfound bravery to the test when Anna's outlaw husband arrives with plans to plant him in an unmarked grave. I suck at sheep. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. Isn't the fair on Saturday? As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. PREVIEW. All rights reserved. Albert: I know. Copyright 2023 "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Old Stump Bluegrass . rights reserved. Doc Brown: Nothing. A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Great Scott. Seth MacFarlane, the rowdy "Family Guy" creator who wrote, directed, and stars in the new comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West," stopped by TODAY Thursday to talk about the film. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. Your mileage may vary depending on your enthusiasm for his smirking frat-boy comedy. Nov 20, 2014. Albert is attracted to her, initially, by her beauty, but realizes she's the courage and confidence he has always hungered for. 27 Songs, 1 hour, 2 minutes A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American Western black comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild.The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, and Liam Neeson.The film follows a cowardly frontiersman who gains courage with the . PREVIEW. Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. This version also has even more footage in deleted scenes, and an alternate beginning and ending. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. Star Wars Jedi: Survivor Has Perfected Lightsaber Combat, Project Milo Was a Big Swing (and a Miss) at Leveling Up Game AI, Mrs. Doubtfire Actor Matthew Lawrence Alleges He Lost Marvel Role After Refusing Director's Advances, Fan-Favorite Deadpool 2 Character is Returning for Deadpool 3, King of the Hill Actor Confirms Revival Will Feature a Time Jump, Amazon Prime Members: Get $5 in Free Amazon Credit, The Biggest Games Coming in May and Beyond, Xbox Storage Expansion Cards on Sale for New All-Time Low Price, Moon Mystery - Official Kickstarter Trailer, Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One - Avengers Assembled, Resident Evil 4 Clockwork Castellan Locations. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. 116 minutes. And if they dont work the first time, hell try and try again. Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. For a few chuckles more. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . The American West, 1880s. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . 1882. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine". Albert: Oh, f*** that. . Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Albert: Yeah. [stammers] It's a weather experiment. Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. R. Comedy, Romance, Western. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. What are the differences between the Theatrical Version and the Extended Cut. Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. Apple Inc. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." As . Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. If You've Only Got a Moustache. I never see him. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. It just makes it that much funnier. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . Albert: I'm not the hero. Albert: No, no, no, no! The real peculiarity of A Million Ways To Die in The West and what a waste of a great titleis that it's got no good reason to be a Western in the first place, tongue-in-cheek or not. The shooting gallery at the fair has only 10 targets (2 rows of five), but Anna shoots 12 for a perfect score. Offers may be subject to change without notice. Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more than to let her see you with another girl. Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. He's been dead for a few minutes. This is the curious thing about MacFarlane. But theres just one path to his infantile humour. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Anna: Yeah, well, I'll go with you. MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. Copyright 2023 Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. 17+. Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 14. I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. But some men were just big giant pussies. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. PREVIEW. That's a dollar bill!". Me too. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Opens Friday at major . Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. 2 likes. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . He got . [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. 3 likes. 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. May 29, 2014. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! Starring: Seth MacFarlane,Charlize Theron,Liam Neeson. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights. [leaves]. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. I'm not going to the stupid fair. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . Anna and Albert. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. Like. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? 1882. Copyright 2023 Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. You know, like snakes. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. Chinese Date: How should I know? Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. These are full loads. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition] by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. All rights reserved. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Anna and Albert. Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. It's Me, Margaret. The one where EW follows up with the cast. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. Amick Byram. But jokes that weren't funny the first time aren't funny the sixth time, either. 2014 Back Lot Music. "Don't go snackin' if you been tobaccin'.". A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Quotes.net. Doctors! As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? By creating an account, you agree to the See production, box office & company info. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's Girl, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Things Could Be a Lot Worse, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's First Time. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. Chinese Date: My father is a railroad worker, like every other Chinaman. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. Support. On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" Copyright Fandango. However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Casting was done between December 2012 and March 2013. Seth MacFarlane writes, directs and stars in this Western about a sheep farmer who falls in love with an outlaw's wife. Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. We follow the life of Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane), an incompetent and inept sheep farmer whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) breaks up with him because of his glaring lack of courage and skill. The film follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane) who feels certain that the western frontier is trying to kill him while coping from his break-up with his girlfriend. I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them.
Stafford Township Police Salary,
999 Police Call Handler Script,
Town Of Southampton Deck Requirements,
Articles A